Season 2, Episode 4: The Phone Message

My Rating of this episode: 10/10 stars
IMDB Rating of this episode: 8.6/10 stars http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697751/?ref_=ttep_ep4

This episode aired February 13, 1991. Again, this episode, like many this season, is out of order on the dvd's which have this as episode 7 for some reason.

Jerry's storyline: Jerry's date is going very well until Jerry gets in an argument with his date over a Dockers commercial. They have a second date that also seems to be going well until George shows up at Jerry's apartment and says "Oh, you're the one that likes that commercial!" Jerry helps George switch out a phone machine tape.  

Favorite Jerry part: Jerry explains how after asking a girl out on the phone, you get off the phone right away because it's like robbing a bank. You don't just stand there in front of the teller holding a big bag of money. 

"I think if one's going to kill oneself, the least you could do is leave a note. It's common courtesy. I don't know, that's just the way I was brought up." 

When Jerry's date says he didn't have to tell his friends that she liked the commercial, Jerry says: "No, I had to tell my friends. My friends didn't have to tell you" and he gives George a look.

George's storyline: George asks a girl out and then turns down an invite upstairs at the end of the date because he can't drink coffee at night because it keeps him up. He eventually leaves a total of four phone messages, the final one being an angry message because she never called back. He gets Jerry to attempt switching the tape on her machine.

Favorite George part: "For me to ask a woman out I got to get in a mental state like the karate guys before they break the bricks." 

His first phone message he leaves that quickly tailspins out of control is amazing. And his immediate response is so funny, "There's nothing I can do. It's a machine. The little light is blinking right now, 'Come and listen to the idiot! Hey everybody, the idiot's on!'"

The discussion George and Jerry have while waiting on the street for George's girl to get home is Seinfeld at it's best. They discuss a signal to use in case the girl is coming into the room while Jerry is making the switch. George thinks hard and then decides, "I'll call out 'Tippytoe!'" Jerry's reaction is perfect and I laughed for like 30 seconds straight even though I knew it was coming.

The scene up in the girl's apartment continues to be hilarious. Jerry says that he doesn't have to go to the bathroom anymore and the girl says, "That's weird." George says, "Uh, no, no, that can happen. I've read about it in medical journals...it's a freak thing..." Later, as she is about to walk in on Jerry switching the tapes, George calls out "Tippytoe! Tippytoe!" even though they had decided against that as the signal. Finally, after George had gotten her out of the room to tell her something very important, it is revealed that the thing he had to tell her was that his father wears sneakers in the pool.

Kramer's storyline: Kramer makes two brief appearances in Jerry's apartment: Once to give Jerry some material to put in his next act and once when he meets Jerry's date.  

Favorite Kramer part: Kramer walks in right after the blowup with Jerry and his date after she finds out Jerry told George she likes that commercial. Jerry introduces her and he immediately snaps his fingers, points at her, and says, "Cotton Dockers!" As she is abruptly leaving, Kramer starts quoting the commercial as she walks past him through the door.

Elaine's storyline: Elaine gives George the idea to attempt switching the tape on the machine before the girl can listen to his message. 

Favorite Elaine part: Her best part is when Kramer tells Jerry he has some material for Jerry to put in his next act and she laughs really hard during his not very funny routine. 

Supporting characters in this episode: None. 

Favorite character in this episode: George takes it. A+ in this episode. Nonstop laughs. Jerry is also very good as he plays a great supporting role to George. And Kramer's brief scenes are probably his best yet. 


This episode has the first reference to the "vault" in regards to being able to keep a secret. George says he's a vault when explaining to Jerry how he can't believe he accidentally slipped up by mentioning the commercial to the girl. "The vault" is mentioned in several future episodes. 

This is a very, very good episode. Easily the best one so far. There are several fantastic Jerry/George scenes. The scene of Jerry and George waiting for George's girl to get home and how they weasel their way upstairs is one of the best scenes yet. I think the only thing that could possibly keep me from giving this episode a 10 is that Elaine really hasn't come into her own yet. She is better in this episode though, even though she only makes a brief appearance. I thought that my rule would be that all four characters need to be firing on all cylinders for me to give a 10 because I was afraid I would be handing out too many 10's. But this episode is hilarious from start to finish and every scene is great. I don't need all four characters to be perfect. If two characters do all the heavy lifting then that's fine so long as the humor is there for the entirety of the episode. And thus, I bestow my very first 10. Congratulations everyone!

Season 2, Episode 3: The Jacket

My Rating of this episode: 8/10 stars
IMDB Rating of this episode: 8.5/10 stars http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697713/?ref_=ttep_ep3

This episode aired February 6, 1991. From here through the rest of season 2, the episode order is way mixed up (this episode is episode 5 on the dvd's). For some reason, the dvd's are way out of order from the original air dates. I suppose they have that authority to re-decide the order of the episodes. But I will continue to follow the imdb episode order, also known as the chronological order based on episode air date.

Jerry's storyline: Jerry gets an expensive suede jacket which has an unfortunate inside lining pattern. His jacket is ruined in the snow when Elaine's father refuses to let Jerry wear the jacket inside out because of the inside lining.

Favorite Jerry part: There is a great scene where Jerry and George arrive at the restaurant and have to visit with Elaine's dad while they wait for Elaine. Jerry is great throughout, but it's hilarious when after a very awkward few minutes Jerry excuses himself to go to the bathroom and George desperately grabs his arm as Jerry is walking off. Jerry very aggressively rips his arm away in order to escape and abandon George. It's a money scene. 

George's storyline: George has a Les Miserables song stuck in his head (Master of the House) and awkwardly visits with Elaine's dad while waiting for Elaine to arrive.

Favorite George part: "Can I say one thing to you? And I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality...it's fabulous" in referring to Jerry's new jacket. Obviously the line "unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality" is too good not to mention in this post.

George also has a great moment immediately following the line mentioned above where he questions Jerry aggressively about the price of the jacket (all the while Jerry stares blankly back at George) which eventually leads to George dramatically leaving the apartment with George's trademark "huh-ho!" mock laugh. It's a good George scene.

During the awkward scene where Jerry and George arrive early, George immediately jumps into an attempted conversation with Elaine's dad about ice: "Don't you find that you get more without it?" And Jerry humorously nods his head in agreement.

Kramer's storyline: Kramer gets Jerry to give him Jerry's old leather jacket now that Jerry won't be using it. Kramer also momentarily loses a pair of doves he was watching while his magician friend is out of town. 

Favorite Kramer part: Kramer also gets Jerry to give him his "ruined" suede jacket and tells Jerry, "It's too bad you gave me this one too" referring to the leather jacket that he does not think to return to Jerry.

Elaine's storyline: Elaine gets Jerry and George to go to dinner with her and her writer father. Her father ends up being a pretty scary old dude. Elaine is very late because she had to sit in Kramer's double parked car for "two minutes", which obviously lasts much longer. Jerry and George suffer the consequences with a painfully long visit with Elaine's dad.

Favorite Elaine part: She does a nice job retelling the incident she had with Kramer when he lost the doves.

Supporting characters in this episode: No recurring supporting characters. Elaine's dad does a fantastic job and has the nice moment at the end of the episode where he is driving in his car singing the Les Miserables song to himself, even though he had earlier told George, "Pipe down, chorus boy."

Favorite character in this episode: George. He was fantastic in both of his scenes. Jerry is a close second as he was solid throughout.


This episode is the first reference to Elaine's job reading manuscripts for Pendant Publishing. This was my favorite episode so far. I was very close to giving it a 9. There were some great scenes. If I allowed fractioning my star ratings, this one certainly would have been an 8.5. But I don't allow it and I rounded down to an 8 because, even though Kramer was better in this episode than he has been in most previous episodes, both he and Elaine didn't quite bring enough punch to convince me to round up to a 9.

Season 2, Episode 2: The Pony Remark

My Rating of this episode: 8/10 stars
IMDB Rating of this episode: 8.1/10 stars http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697757/?ref_=ttep_ep2

This episode aired January 30, 1991.

Jerry's storyline: Jerry has to go to a family gathering of a distant relative in which he makes a remark about a pony that causes controversy.

Favorite Jerry part: The pony scene really is good. After Jerry upsets the former pony owner, he tries to explain himself to the silent dinner party. He riffs about immigrants not typically having ponies. "Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense! Am I wrong?"

Another funny part is when the lady who owned the pony dies and her funeral is scheduled the same day as Jerry's championship softball game. Jerry doesn't want to go because he only met her three times and then says, "I mean, who has a funeral on a Wednesday?! That's what I want to know." It's a funny line.

The last line of the episode is great. After discussing the softball game for a while, out of nowhere Jerry says, "Who figures an immigrant is going to have a pony?" 

George's storyline: George cannot believe Jerry will miss the softball championship to attend the funeral.

Favorite George part: Nothing really. He had two brief scenes but didn't have any great George moments in this one.

Kramer's storyline: Kramer changes the configuration of his apartment by adding levels. He makes a bet with a skeptical Jerry that he can finish the project in a month.

Favorite Kramer part: It's funny when he tries to explain to Jerry that the bet is off because he decided not to do the levels while Jerry tries to explain to him that that was the bet.

Elaine's storyline: Elaine, for some reason, comes with Jerry to the awkward family gathering. Elaine introduces the pony topic.

Favorite Elaine part: Elaine and Jerry's silent and shocked disbelief when the speaker at the funeral goes on and on about how much she loved her pony is really funny.

She also has a funny part at the end after Jerry blows the championship game. She says, "I remember saying to myself, 'Why is Jerry so far off the base?'" She later adds when referring to another Jerry miscue when he failed to tag up on a pop fly, "I couldn't believe it when I saw you running! I thought maybe they changed the rules or something!" She is funny in this scene and you can almost tell that she had been messing up a lot of takes from laughing because she seems to be barely holding it together during this scene.

Supporting characters in this episode: Jerry's parents make their second appearance, but it is the first appearance with the new actor for Jerry's dad. He makes an immediate impact by staring blankly at the tv with the remote resting on his potbelly while his wife scolds him over his unfashionable clothes and he does not respond but just continues his zoned out stare. He is also very hilarious throughout the episode by being super concerned about how much the funeral is going to cost him because of the missed flight, etc.

Uncle Leo also makes his first appearance and talks about Jerry's cousin Jeffrey, an unseen character always referenced by Leo.

Favorite character in this episode: Jerry. He carries this episode. His dad would be second with pretty much everyone else a distant third.

Jerry's first appearance is of him returning to his apartment from his softball game. His jersey reveals that his team name is "Friends O'Clyde." I once used this as a team name for my fantasy football team one year but I think it was far too obscure of a reference for anyone to enjoy.

Jerry's dad references his idea for the beltless trench coat which resurfaces again in a future episode.

This is a good episode despite the fact that George and Kramer don't do much. The storyline is funny enough and Jerry plays the part well enough for this episode to earn an 8-star rating from me. Could have been a 9 if George or Kramer had funnier roles.

Season 2, Episode 1: The Ex-Girlfriend

My Rating of this episode: 8/10 stars
IMDB Rating of this episode: 7.8/10 stars http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697692/?ref_=ttep_ep1

This episode aired January 23, 1991, just over seven months after the end of season 1.

Jerry's storyline: George's ex-girlfriend he just broke up with is interested in Jerry. Jerry is not initially interested in her but this does not last. He eventually has to confront George with the news of the relationship with the Ex-Girlfriend. She breaks up with him after seeing his act in which she did not think he was funny.

Favorite Jerry part: This episode has Jerry's famous line to George suggesting he break up with his girlfriend just like ripping off a bandaid: "Do it in one motion, right off!"

Jerry also has this funny part where he mocks people like me who collect books when questioning George why he needs books from his ex-girlfriend's place if he already read them. "What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need them for after you read it?" He also later teases George about how when you read 'Moby Dick' the second time "Ahab and the whale actually become good friends."

Jerry also has a nice "The Blob" reference where he explains to Elaine that "A relationship is like an organism. You created this thing and then you starved it and it turned against you. The same thing happened in 'The Blob.'"

George's storyline: George breaks up with his girlfriend. Jerry becomes interested in her and George is surprisingly ok with it.

Favorite George part: George has a nice re-telling to Jerry and Kramer of his break up story and how when she started crying it's like trying to make a prison break, but you trip and they throw the spotlight on you. Then how she started cursing at him and how it was like shots from the guard tower, "son of a bang, son of a boom."

Kramer's storyline: Kramer wants Jerry to shop for his groceries at Joe's instead of the supermarket.

Favorite Kramer part: Kramer's first scene involves getting Jerry to take a bite of some delicious cantaloupe from Joe's. In his second scene he enters Jerry's apartment where Jerry has a cantaloupe he had purchased from the supermarket. Kramer goes to take a bite and puts the cantaloupe in his mouth for 0.2 seconds before taking it out and saying "that stinks." It was Kramer being Kramer.

Elaine's storyline: Elaine has an acquaintance that stopped saying hello when they cross paths and she decides to confront him about it which leads Jerry to dub her "the queen of confrontation."

Favorite Elaine part: Nothing too funny, but in her two scenes, she does relay the story really well about the regression from a friendly acquaintance to saying hello to just nodding toward each other and eventually no acknowledgment when passing each other by.

Supporting characters in this episode: No recurring supporting characters, just Marlene, the Ex-Girlfriend who breaks up with Jerry because she can't date a guy if she doesn't respect what they do which prompts Jerry to exclaim, "You're a cashier!"

Favorite character in this episode: Close call between Jerry and George, but this episode goes to Jerry. He does a good job mocking book collector nerds and does a nice overall job in this episode.

This episode shows Kramer's first interest in golf. He comes in Jerry's apartment explaining to him that the golf swing is all about the hips while simultaneously doing funny Kramer hip motions.

This episode is pretty good and I think it is because it has a much greater focus on the Jerry and George bantering relationship. The episode featured the two in a number of scenes together. Thus, this episode was stronger than the last few episodes of season 1. I give it a nice solid 8.

Season 1, Episode 5: The Stock Tip

My Rating of this episode: 6/10 stars
IMDB Rating of this episode: 7.7/10 stars http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697788/?ref_=ttep_ep5

This episode aired June 21, 1990. The dvd's are finally back in the air date order. This is the final episode of the very brief first season.

Jerry's storyline: Jerry takes his girlfriend on a weekend getaway despite George's warnings of it being a "dating decathlon" and a bad idea.

Favorite Jerry part: Jerry's girlfriend asks him why he didn't do anything about the loud people sitting behind them at the movies. Jerry says, "I gave them the half turn. Then I gave them the full turn with the eye roll. Anything beyond that I'm risking a punch in the mouth."

George's storyline: George gets a stock tip from a friend and gets Jerry to invest as well.

Favorite George part: Jerry orders a tuna salad but changes his order after Elaine persuades him not to because of the dolphins. George then immediately and without conscience orders the tuna.

Kramer's storyline: Kramer takes an odd pleasure in the fact that Jerry's stock keeps dropping.

Favorite Kramer part: Kramer does a subtle yet funny flinch when Jerry's speaker buzzes while Kramer is leaning next to the wall right by the buzzer.

Elaine's storyline: Elaine is allergic to her boyfriends two cats.

Favorite Elaine part: One of the great things about Seinfeld is how easily it can be referenced in everyday life. In this episode, Elaine talks about how she was late because she spent ten minutes looking for a grape. She dropped a grape and could not find it. Yes, I have referenced this in my life, and have done so more than once as a matter of fact. You see, I eat a lot of grapes. And grapes fall on the ground all the time. And they can be difficult to find. Thus, the opportunity to reference this comes easily.

Supporting characters in this episode: Jerry's girlfriend from a previous episode, The Stake Out.

Favorite character in this episode: No one really stands out again. I suppose I would go with Jerry by default.

This episode has Elaine raising the question to Jerry about what a hit man would charge to rub out a couple of cats. A future episode involves Elaine getting Kramer and Newman to get rid of a noisy dog.

Season 1, overall, was not that stellar. The Pilot and The Stake Out were both pretty good. The other three episodes were not very funny. Watching these episodes, you can definitely see the potential is there for some good comedy, but I would have never guessed that it would turn into the series that it eventually became.

Season 1, Episode 4: Male-Unbonding

My Rating of this episode: 6/10 stars
IMDB Rating of this episode: 7.6/10 stars http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697645/?ref_=ttep_ep4

This episode aired June 14, 1990. Again, the Seinfeld dvd's have this episode out of order from the original air date. The dvd has this as episode 2 even though it was the fourth episode to air.

Jerry's storyline: Jerry has an annoying childhood friend that always wants to spend time with Jerry. Jerry decides to break up with him.

Favorite Jerry part: "He had a ping-pong table, we were friends. Should I suffer the rest of my life because I like to play ping-pong? I was ten. I would have been friends with Stalin if he had a ping-pong table."

George is going to cash in a big jar of change and tells Jerry that he knows a guy who took a vacation on his change. Jerry says, "Yeah, where did he go, to an arcade?"

George's storyline: George was going to go to a Knick game with Jerry with seats behind the bench but gets bumped when Jerry offers the tickets to his friend after the break-up attempt goes poorly.

Favorite George part: The bank tells him that they can't take his change but offers him the coin sleeve things. George exclaims: "You want me to roll 6,000 of these?! What, should I quit my job?!"

Kramer's storyline: Kramer makes a few appearances and talks about his pizza place where you make your own pie. This idea resurfaces in future episodes.

Favorite Kramer part: None. Kramer doesn't really do anything this episode. His huge cell phone with an antenna was pretty funny I suppose.

Elaine's storyline: Elaine makes one appearance at the very end of the episode. She discovers Jerry's list of excuses he made to use on his friend.

Favorite Elaine part: None really. She comes up with some good lies on the spot when she and Jerry are invited to a Knick game by Jerry's friend, including one about how she and Jerry have choir practice where they will be going over Eastern European national anthems.

Supporting characters in this episode: No recurring characters. Jerry's friend, Joel, does a good job playing his part in this episode.

Favorite character in this episode: No one really stands out. To be honest, Jerry's friend Joel was probably the best character. His little bit at the end where he gets out the Knicks schedule and starts to go over the 41 home games is pretty good.


Besides Kramer's pizza place idea already mentioned, this episode also introduces two other things that resurface in future episodes. (1) Kramer answers the phone "Kramerica Industries." (2) Jerry explains to his friend "It's not you, it's me" after trying to break up with him.

Despite not really having any laugh out loud moments, I still give this episode 6 stars because a 5-star rating would mean that I disliked it more than I liked it and that wouldn't be true. I don't think any episode will ever reach those depths. But this one may come as close as any.

Season 1, Episode 3: The Robbery

My Rating of this episode: 7/10 stars
IMDB Rating of this episode: 7.7/10 stars http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697768/?ref_=ttep_ep3

This episode aired May 7, 1990. Again, the Seinfeld dvd's have this episode out of order from the original air date. The dvd has this as episode 4 even though it was the third episode to air.

Jerry's storyline: Jerry gets robbed while out of town. He considers moving to a nicer place that George found for him.

Favorite Jerry part: Jerry exhaustedly walks into his apartment, having just gotten back in town. He sits on the couch and picks up the remote to turn on the tv. He points it at an empty tv stand and realizes it is missing. He then aimlessly starts pointing the remote in several different directions seeing if a tv will magically turn on.

We also see Jerry's first funny scream that he does throughout the series. He tells Kramer that he doesn't have insurance because he spent his money on the most impenetrable lock on the market today. But there is one design flaw, in order for it to work "the door MUST BE CLOSED!"

There's also the part where the cop is recording what was stolen and one item is an answering machine. Jerry says "I hate the idea of somebody out there returning my calls." And the cop just stares at him. Jerry's delivery of this line is flawless.

Another funny part: Elaine is going nuts over the new apartment during the initial visit. She walks in the closet all excited and asks Jerry if he likes the walk-in closet. He slowly closes the closet while she is still inside and stands silently for a good three seconds and says, "I like that." Again, flawlessly done by Jerry.

George's storyline: George finds a nice apartment for Jerry. After showing the new apartment to Jerry, George realizes he wants the apartment.

Favorite George part: Once Jerry learns that George also wants the apartment, they flip a coin for it. Jerry wins the coin toss. George immediately declares, "No, it hit the table, it hit the table. Interference! You can't count that!" Then he does a mini-George freak out. Then they do the classic Choose, best of five. George quickly loses the first two and has to back away to regain his composure. George eventually loses and calmly concedes defeat, goes to the bathroom, and shouts, "Why did I put out two! Why did I put out two!" It's a funny scene.

Kramer's storyline: Kramer had left Jerry's door wide open which resulted in the robbery. He came to get Jerry's spatula and thought he would be right back but got distracted watching an episode of The Bold and the Beautiful. Kramer tries to track down Jerry's stolen items.

Favorite Kramer part: Kramer doesn't do much this episode. The best moment was probably when he tells Jerry that he thinks the Englishman down the hall stole the stuff. He says he is going over there and to call the police if he doesn't come back in five minutes. Jerry says ok and holds out his watch and says, "Starting NOW!" Kramer does a Kramer flinch, slides out the door, but reaches back in to make sure he closes the door this time.

Elaine's storyline: Elaine was in charge of Jerry's apartment while he was out of town. She wants to move in to his place once he moves. She constantly tells Jerry his place is no good, yet still wants to move in herself. She heavily sells the new apartment to Jerry in an attempt to sway him to take it.

Favorite Elaine part: Elaine's pretty funny throughout with her pressuring of Jerry. My favorite is how she pulls out the measuring tape the moment George loses the last Choose in order to measure Jerry's couch that she will be taking.

Supporting characters in this episode: None.

Favorite character in this episode: Jerry, easily. He has some good lines and has a funny attitude and demeanor throughout the episode.

There is also a great final scene where the three attend a house warming party (Jerry turned down the place when he realized George could still not get over losing the Choose match. George also won't take it under the circumstances. Elaine is denied moving in to either Jerry's or George's place). They are all pretty bummed. There is much humorous bickering and regret.

Also, at the start of the episode, after packing his suitcase, Jerry proudly declares, "I am the master packer." I used this line when entering the MTC. A lady at the front doors was impressed that I was only bringing one suitcase on my mission. That is when I made the bold claim, "I am the master packer." She thought I was a weirdo.

All in all, this is a fine episode. Jerry carries most of it. There just was not enough from Kramer, and even George for the most part, even though he does have the great scene with Jerry with the coin toss and Choose match. Slightly more consistency from George or Kramer would raise this episode to an 8. Instead, it gets 7 stars.